When Jesus goes up the mountain and begins to teach, He is not describing an easy life, but a life full of meaning amidst the pains and confusions of the world. The beatitudes turn everything upside down: blessed are those who mourn, the persecuted, those who hunger and thirst for justice. At first glance, our reaction is similar to what you described: "Lord, may I not partake in this, may I stay far from these difficult times." However, Christ Himself is showing that it is precisely in these scenarios that the Kingdom of God shines the brightest. He does not promise to take away all problems, but promises to be with us and give new meaning to every tear, every injustice, every moment we feel small. The mountain where Jesus speaks becomes a place of calling: those who follow Him are invited to live differently amidst the confused crowds.
Thinking about the end, the last days, awakens fear in many of us, and it is natural, because everything that can be shaken will be shaken. But Jesus, in Matthew 5, is already preparing the hearts of the disciples for this: living the Kingdom is swimming against the current, being blessed even when the world sees us as defeated. When you say that you first asked not to participate, you are expressing a desire for protection, something very human. However, the Holy Spirit adjusts this request, transforming it into willingness: "Lord, if You want to use me in these days, here I am." This change in prayer shows a heart poor in spirit, dependent, someone who does not trust in themselves, but in the grace of God. And Jesus says that it is precisely the poor in spirit who inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.
Normally, in the face of crises, we pray to escape, for everything to pass quickly, for the pain not to reach us. However, Jesus' words show that, many times, it is in the midst of tears that He decides to comfort not only us but also others through us. Those who mourn because of the world's sin, because of injustice, for seeing people far from God, are aligned with the heart of Christ. And it is in these moments that our life can become a sign of the Kingdom: a comfort that has a name, a hug that prays, a word that preaches, a silence that intercedes. When you think, "what if it is in these moments that God will need me to do something?", you are getting closer to the spirit of the beatitudes. You are not just wanting to survive the end, but to be used by God in it, as a peacemaker, merciful and pure in heart, pointing to Jesus.
If the days are difficult, if there is persecution, insults, or injustices because of Christ, remember that He has already warned us and called "blessed" those who go through this. Nothing you do in obedience to Jesus in these times will be in vain: every act of mercy, every word of truth, every decision to keep your heart clean before God. He Himself promised a splendid reward in heaven, and this hope keeps us firm without hardening our hearts. Instead of praying just to escape, you can continue praying: "Lord, keep me, but also use me; deliver me from evil, but do not let me flee from Your will." Christ, who spoke on the mountain and gave His life on the cross, will be with you until the end, sustaining, guiding, and comforting. Walk in peace: if difficult days come, you will not be alone, and the God of the beatitudes will make your life a beacon of hope for many.