Genesis 9:25 records Noah's harsh declaration—"Cursed be Canaan"—a raw witness to how sin fractures families, speech, and blessing. That sentence forces us to face a painful truth: human sin wounds God and neighbor alike. As you confessed, humankind has hurt the Lord for many years, and Scripture does not hide the weight or consequences of our brokenness.
Yet even amid that grim pronouncement the larger story of the Father and his covenantal heart remains. You asked, "Why? Will you forgive me always if I ask?" The gospel answers that question: God is Father, faithful to his promise, and in Christ he entered our cursed condition to bear its judgment and to offer forgiveness and new life (the New Testament witnesses to Christ bearing curse and opening mercy). This does not erase consequences automatically, but it opens a way back to fellowship with God through repentance.
Practically, repentance looks like honest confession—saying, "I'm sorry, Lord," and turning from the patterns that hurt God and others—then receiving Christ's substitutionary grace. Seek the Spirit's guidance, take your place in Scripture and Christian community, and let grace lead to changed living. Forgiveness is promised to the penitent, and that promise reshapes our hearts toward obedience, humility, and love.
Bring your sorrow and your simple plea to the Father; he hears the repentant voice and, in Jesus, restores those who return. Keep asking for guidance, confessing your need, and walking in the means of grace—he will meet you with mercy. Be encouraged: his forgiveness is real, his love pursues you, and he will guide you as you seek him.